You are Not Alone, Either
by nothingisinevitable
Summary: They'd been this way for too long. Stepping dangerously close to the line but never crossing it. And she was tired of it. (Contains some spoilers for 'Double Blind').


I wrote this at about 11pm after a sudden burst of inspiration. Don't you just love those moments?

Warning: Tag to 'Double Blind', so slight spoilers there but not really.

It was somehow both surprising and predictable that they ended up like this. Sitting on his couch late at night, a movie playing quietly while they watched on in complete silence. After all the crap that happened that day, after Adam and the interrogation and the suspended security clearance, their boss ends up being the target. He was their main goal. It's upsetting, and puts a horrible feeling in his gut. He knows Ziva must feel it too, because she had come here tonight after all the mess and spoken quietly to him,

'_I don't want to be alone.'_

He had opened up his door and told her that she wasn't. He was here for her. Whatever she needed. And he'd watched her face relax as she stepped towards him to wrap her arms around his torso. He savoured the moment, because he feared that even though things like this were occurring more frequently, he feared for some reason that she may stop doing it one day. She felt warm for the brief moment that she remained against his body, and when she stepped away, he missed her. So he followed her as she walked over to his couch and took a seat, tucking her legs underneath her. As she looked up at him, he read her expression which seemed to say, '_I'm not ready yet'. _So he turned to his cabinet to search for some light-hearted movie, and once he had joined her on the couch and pressed play, they'd fallen into a comfortable silence. Tony figured she would talk when she was ready – whenever that may be - but he hoped it was soon because lord knows they had a lot to discuss.

Half-way through the movie, she shuffles a bit and he looks over at her. She sighs and bites her lip, no longer looking at the screen. Tony assumes she wants to talk and encourages her by turning off the television. She looks at him.

"How did you know I wanted to talk?"

He shrugs. "You just had that look on your face. I don't see it often. I saw it just before our crash, too, when you started talking about Orli."

She nods. It's true that she doesn't like to open up. She doesn't like the world to see how she feels. But somehow, lately, he's made her feel comfortable. They'd grown a lot together, and looking back to when she first visited NCIS, she can't help but think those were two completely different people. She did not feel the same. And Tony was not the same. They'd helped each other grow. Fought their way through many battles. Yet here they were, struggling through yet another obstacle. She hoped that soon they could stop fighting; soon they could find calm within each other.

Ziva knew how she felt. If she'd ever been unsure, after their dance in Berlin she could question if no longer. Looking so intensely into his eyes while he held her close to his body had made her brain go haywire. She'd been fuzzy. Dizzy, almost, from the intense love that had pulsed through her body.

This man deserved her. He wanted her to be happy, and yet she'd gone and made another mistake and slept with Adam when she knew deep inside that Tony was the one who she really wanted to be comforting her. The thought of being with him like that made her giddy; they were so close to that step and yet had not even shared their first real kiss. That baffled her. She would so readily give herself to this man who had shown her countless times how he felt. She knew she had to pluck up the courage to show him that she felt the same, that he was not alone either, and that all she'd ever wanted was for someone to love her so unconditionally in the way that he did.

Tony speaks again and it breaks her from her trance. "I'm worried about Gibbs."

She glances back up at him. "Me, too. Though, for some reason I feel like it is all going to turn out just fine."

He smiles. "Probably because it's Gibbs."

She gives a small laugh. "Yes, probably. It seems as if nothing can break him."

She suddenly turns serious and Tony knows that whatever she had been thinking about just now did not have much to do with Gibbs. He suspects he knows what she wants to talk about now, but he lets her speak first anyway.

"Tony," she says quietly, "I, uh, do not really know why I am saying this, but...I am sorry about Adam. I am sorry for doing that after you had told me I was not alone. I knew that you were there for me, I did, but for some reason I did it anyway."

"Because I couldn't give _that _to you."

She shook her head. "Because I was scared of what it would mean if..."

"...If I did give that to you?" He finished.

Her eyes moved to his, and he was taken aback by the raw emotion he saw within them. "I was worried that if you and I slept together while I was in that state, you'd think that all I did it for was comfort and for nothing else. And that scared me because I knew that if I slept with you, it would mean so much more. The place I was in was a very bad one, Tony. I knew that I needed to change and get better before I could even start to think about doing..._that _with you. Adam was a mistake. But in some messed up way, he helped me. He allowed me to realise that I didn't want meaningless sex anymore. I want something real, something that is _permanent_, and meaningful, and wonderful."

He stared at her, letting his brain process her sudden confession. He was unsure, and then she continued.

"And, Tony...I think you can give me that. I mean for goodness sake, you already have. You have been the one stable thing in my life. You keep me grounded, you show me how much you care, and you make me so happy. I don't want to deny it any more. You are the man I want. I know that you will always be here."

Tony looked at her in awe. She'd basically just told him that she wanted a relationship with him and needed him in her life. All of a sudden, all of his love for her that he had tried to suppress came boiling to the surface and he could feel his heart almost burst out of his chest with pure affection for this woman.

He moved closer to her and raised his hand to the side of her face, holding it gently. She gazed into his eyes and Tony saw eagerness with a hint of that look she'd given him in Berlin. Almost like she was dizzy.

"Ziva...please for the love of god tell me that you mean what I think you do. Tell me that you want this because I am so ready to be with you."

She shifted forwards and his hand dropped from her face, but he soon felt her own hands on either side of his. Slightly teary, she looked him in the eye and grinned at him happily.

"I want this, Tony. I want this so much. I'm ready. I've held myself back from falling for you for so long and I'm tired of it."

Tony put his forehead against hers and tilted his head towards her lips.

"I'm so tired of it." She whispered. And then their lips met and everything that had gone wrong in their world no longer mattered. Her lips pressed to his eagerly and he savoured the softness of them. Ziva's hands slowly found their way around his neck and she raised herself up to press closer against him.

Tony moved his lips against hers more forcefully and he could feel her tongue touching gently against his mouth. He shivered from the reality of her finally being within his arms and met her tongue eagerly with his own. He wrapped his arms around her waist and quickly felt her breathing become laboured.

Ziva felt her head spinning. She could hear or feel nothing in that moment except him and allowed herself to be thrilled by his kiss. This was all she had hoped for and more. This man was finally in her arms and she had never been happier than in that moment.

She felt her heart race and her breaths become shorter and harsher as things began to speed up. Reluctantly, she pulled away to gain some air back into her lungs and clear the fuzziness within her brain.

With lazy eyes, she gazed at his face before leaning back slightly. His arms relaxed around her waist and instead began to caress her sides. She smiled at him.

"I don't know about you, but I would thoroughly enjoy doing that again."

He grinned. "Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea."

He pulled her back to him for a sweet kiss and knew that from then onwards, neither of them would ever feel alone again.

**I hope you all enjoyed this little oneshot. Happy Tiva feels all around. **


End file.
